dear kg

Pardon the Seashore...

Kevin Garnett likes living in Minnesota. Kevin Garnett likes non-competing in the atrociously brilliant West. Kevin Garnett likes his incompetent GM of the same first name, plugging in his car in the morning to start it, and promises to Spencer Hawes.

I don't get you KG. I mean at least give us a shot. The fan base is passionate (while sometimes rabid albeit), the seats will be filled and the commitment towards winning will be there. You know we're going to love you, the last big man with that type of passing game left Boston dubbed "Basketball Jesus."

Don't like Wally? I know a guy, who knows a guy, who knows a guy. Let's just say Wally ain't exactly the pope around these parts. We'll dump him like a Big Dig Contractor.

Just give us 2 years. You will be surprised about how terrible the East is. Don't believe me? Here's a list of Eastern Conference teams that might be preseason power ranked ahead of us next year.

• Cleveland (who will win 40 games next year).
• Miami
• Chicago

That's it. No, that doesn't seem like the Mavs/Spurs/Suns/Jazz/ODerant/Kobe cluster fuck that is the West. Face it dog, it ain't going to happen in this Conference.

But look a little East. New Jersey in the first round, Washington in the second, Chicago for the title; YOU WILL DOMINATE THESE PLAYOFFS. YOU WILL BE A GOD IN BOSTON.

This situation is SO much better then what you have going on right now. Sure, the Suns are nice but if you don't win it all you become a disappointment. The only way you can let Boston down is by opting out after one season.

We love our basketball stars, you will love our city. Just give us a chance,

pretty please?